Bianca the Grouch

I'm awoke from my slumber (as I am every morning) by a wee little voice "MAAAAAMAAAAAA, MAAAAAMAAAAA". I fetch the screaming Bianca from her baby jail and smother her with hugs and kisses..... it has, after all, been almost 12 hours since I had seen her last. I start down the stairs and she spots the folded laundry, particularly a pair of her favorite, far too small "baby jammies". Fine. I grab them. Why break the week long stretch of wearing pajamas. Well all it took was my reaching for a diaper (she likes to have her diaper changed on her terms) to set her off. "NOOOOOO" said with an octave change to achieve that truly annoying toddler whining sound. She slides off the couch and onto the floor. "Mmmmmmmmmm" again with the octave change to reach optimum annoyance. I try to look at her to see if she's alright. "Mmmmmmmmmmmm", how dare I look at her. She begins to struggle to get last night's jammies off. "Can I help you?" "Mmmmmmmmmm". This time I've clearly stepped over the line because she proceeds to bat things off the coffee table, but very slowly and deliberately, while glancing up between each item to make sure I'm watching. Alas, Super Elmo to the rescue.